Tuesday, September 14, 2010




Having a little problem balancing all the demands of life.


My dad told me this so many times.
"Peng Yong..." Dad said.
"You can't even take care of yourself well, what makes you
think you can take care of someone other?" Dad said with
a sigh.


I guess he's spot on about my life and the consequences
that ensues, again. Yes, now, again.

Haha..


You can say he is my dad, that is why he knows best.
I do not talk to my dad so much nowadays. Not as much
as i will like to. And i understand i am one stubborn son.
But dad, you know if i am dead one day before you, please
read this blog entry. For anyone that reads this blog,
remember this blog entry for me too. cause i might not be
there to tell him to read this blog entry.
I love you Mr. Puay Gee, Father of Peng Yong.


You have never got it wrong before. All your advises were
such precious words to me. It is pretty easy to know if i am
listening. As long as i look at you straight in your eyes and
my mouth is fidgeting, playing with my tongue and my
face getting all tight. Bingo, i am listening intently.


U know it is tough.


Being an adult. And all that you have told me about not studying
hard and u will need to take night class like those adults rushing
to school after work etc. U told me to never be in that path.
I still remember u told me when i was on your blue van, and you
said if i do well in primary school u will be going to bukit panjang
govt high. It was raining that day and the aircon in the van was
cOlD.. I remembered the words.


But it was not to be. I tried very hard in primary school. but i guess
i was not matured enough even at primary 6 to look far, and work
harder-er. if not i would have been in bpgh. I made it to express
with a score of 188, to me, it was really an achievement. because
i am always not doing exactly that well in class, eventhough i am
trying hard. My form teacher ms. lek is one of the most inspirational
person in my life. I still remember her slapping my face, so many
times, eventhough i am the monitor of the class. I feel that those
slaps and after school period where i stayed with her outside the
teacher's room, she doing her marking, me finishing my schoolwork.
I am truly blessed.


In Grss, my secondary school alma mater, i was enjoying my life to
bits. It was the most beautiful period of my life. I tried really hard
to take up all opportunities to grow. I joined the student councillor
board, took up npcc, and took up the courage to join the basketball
team. although i did not last long in the bball team, i really enjoyed
the times i was in the club. Npcc life was MY LIFE at that point in time
and student councillor life was so colourful! That was when i got
"conned" into joining YVIP! Which proves to be one of my best
experience in life too. I developed another part of me through that.


At this point, i believe dad, u only have 1 complaint and concern.
Because i do not discuss about my relationship issues with you or mum.
I just kept it to myself. I was in terrible state for my secondary 1, 2.
Hmm.. partly cause i was recovering from the breakup between Xin yu
and me. (Well chu lian is never easy to shrug off eh!) From this,
all that i can remember now was, the few people in my life i knew in
student concillor. Dickson, he never abandons me, he just kept
cheering me on, telling me to find myself back, participate in other
activities. Si Peng was his usual enforcer style, he once pulled me
by the collar and into the toilet, splashed water on my face and said
"peng yong, u cannot be like this anymore, nan ren yao na de qi,
fang de xia!". Mr. Steven Koh, one of my most revered teacher
summoned me into his office one afternoon, and asked me why
am i not myself and about the relationship break up. How deep
we went and i vividly remember him saying "If you go through this
tough period now, it will only make you stronger, so pick urself up
now.Focus on student councillor and developing yourself."

Haha.. dad this period of time was where i started building my resilience.
Again, my life is littered with angels footprints. I feel bless!
After that was jc life. and you know too well what i went through.
I do not need to discuss. It was painful times. But again, it was
colourful and i am also filled with wonderful memories.
Army followed and really, i was just feeling so confident in this unit
and all the glory and honour it brings. I simply felt i am above all
other man in this world. Because i was fit, confident, loud and
adventurous. Less the smart part. haha i am not exactly a smart guy
academically.

Uni was great! I simply love the company with my classmates and
i have found a group friends in uni, our r/s is tight knitted.
At this point in my life. I am working, studying and is in a courtship.
So yea.. i am feeling kinda tired in life. balancing all these 3 part of
my life together with family commitments(minimal) and my friends.
I can feel that i am overwhelmed.
I feel like asking for your opinions. But i look at how cheerful how
you and mum is nowadays, i just do not want to spoil the rapport.
Haa.. no worries. i will manage. Your son, has grown up to be his
own man already. And i hope one day i can be the pillar of strengh for
my gf/wife, and later my own children, just like u are to me, to us.
I am stubborn. that is why i grow faster than others. =P
actually i got to admit i am not a natural perfectionist.
i find it hard to just focus on one thing and do it fucking well.
i think the first instinct is to finish as much things as possible as
well as i can do.
U said this is in our blood, your blood line, and our character is
as such.. so u told me to learn to focus on a task, never give up.
Some quotes that you always use to define stuff... haa

"as long as one generation is more successful as another
generation, i am happy enough, that will be most important"
"you are not born smart, you have the same genes as me, i know,
that is why u need to work doubly hard to move up the same line,
u will take a longer time, but u will still reach the same place as
those that are smart. so never give up. got to have the drive to
keep yourself energetic, and keep moving up in life."

These are words, that are always hanging in my heart.

God bless.

posted by py @ 10:53 PM

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