A Commando To Be, A Man To Be.
eating some "CHA CHA" brand of beads chocolate now helped me calm down bit..this whole week has really been a taste of what there is to come next.
its not exactly that tough, its manageable.
this monday went for team life firing, and it was a really new experience.
live rounds loading into e rifle, and shooting it. killing the targets.
its really scary, because i was worry that i might shoot someone.
but things went really smoothly.. i was pretty accurate.
we ended pretty late. due to some cock up here and there.. and
everyone, got frusrated. reach back camp real late. and everyone
is feeling sucky. haha.. and yea.. punishment followed, and we paid for it.
after that day, e next few days were days where we did alot of saikang,
and learn all the drills needed in battle. this is not tough, but more of
staying focus.
yesterday.. while all e detachment came back from e live firing, they
told us.. we fucked up. took too long to return to camp. and ya..
alot o mistakes committed. we are really asking for it now.
the whole day, did drills. and then at night, before we book out..
we were told to fall in in Full Battle Order.
upon going downstairs...
STANDS A ROW OF RED BERETS.
we were being tekan like never before.
we were all tired, but we have to pay e price and learn.
thats sir's intention.
although i myself felt like shit.. but i told myself.
i have to jia you.
thats kinda my golden word eh..jas? haha.
there are alot o things that are going on.
but e thing is, we hanged on as one.
1..2...3.....100..200.. jumping jacks.. we counted and did everyone of them.
we sweated like a pig. we never groan. we never say "yes sir" when e sir ask us to give up.
we were man, going through all these. together.
someone said, one chopstick easy to break, one bunch of chopsticks..
hard to break.
and we are hard to break. we will not break.
tired as i am.. i drew strength from none other than jas.
she did not call me or msg me as frequently anymore.
but wherever i go. her photo and e ring, never leaves my side.
every count of push up, i will count in my heart..J..A...S...M...I..N..E...I..LURVE..U..
pushing myself, beyond my limits. my thigh is failing me.. but i kept it moving..
my arms are strong, so i try to help my buddies by encouraging them.
my mind is clear, so i help my buddies who are tired and not really thinking..
hendon camp was very loud yesterday night. and we showed everyone,
we are willing to pay e price for wat we did.
this week also marks e week where i really understand, in my heart, truely, how
jas is feeling. burdened. tired. headache. cough. everything is coming..
she needs to get out of this shit.
in one months time.. exams are coming. and its not easy for her->to balance so many things.
one have to give way.. and i have to give way.
really wanna see jas do well. and really well.
queensland uni will be easier to get in if results are there.
i was not ambitious when i told u i wanted to go to australia to study with ya.
i have kinda set my mind. its not a sacrifice. neither is it a 2yr together, 2 year away kinda thing.
nor is it a tough decision. i made it right after i discussed it with you.
i don't need jas to commit to a relationship now. i repeat.. no need.. =D
we have to get our priorities right. and things will be easier for us.
now. lets jia you for our exams. your mps/smart and my ns.
we will be friends,good friends. maybe a close friend, or watever ppl call it.
don't feel any burden. cause u are free..
jas you can depend on me, and i will not let you fall, never again.
sorry i made you so miserable. lets learn the mistake, and move on. i wanna let you see a new
more responsible,sensitive,a guy who has a future, a man that u will want to have.
so much said.. haha..
remember i am just a call away. any problem, or anything u wanna tell me, dun keep inside. juz shoot. you asked,"can i talk to you like how i used to?" my answer to you,"yes dear, definitely."
tata..
peng yong
12:56
posted by py @ 12:18 PM
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