Never Give Up! eh! =)

Time's not on my side.

AAR of my past two weeks.

Starting with negative points
1. I haven't cleared my Coporate Accounting module after like 2 weeks.
2. ALTHOUGH I had finished the read up of my small business and accounting module, I have not tried any questions or tutorials.
3. I have not even started to read up on my business finance eventhough i have finished revising 4 topics for mid sem test.
4. Feel v demoralised these days because partly of my project results for coporate accounting.
5. 9 Days more to Coporate accounting paper after today.

Ending with +ve points
1. I managed to move to Serangoon to stay after quite a night of contemplation.
2. I went out today to study at school. Brings alot of motivation back into my system when i am working in a team.
3. i have been reading NEWSWEEK..
4. I am starting to wash my own undies and clothings.
5. I have learnt how to cook simple meals.

鹏雄~感想
Being alone, living alone, helps to sort my own feelings naturally.
I have been feeling very weird after i broken up with hx. I think it was a relationship
that brought too really like-minded people together. But we are not 100% like-minded.
Thats why there was a breakup. I needed more time with her. And i can't live it alone
all the time. Thats pretty much why i decided to end it, with her understanding.
Ever since that day i had reframed from talking to her, smsing her, seeing her.
Eventhough she decided not to see me, reply my smses, attend to my calls etc.
It was frustrating in a way. I want to try to understand why she is feeling this way,
but she is not giving in an inch. Or am i simply not trying hard enough?
Courage plays a very big part here. And i recently found out that, for so much that
i am trying to show people what a guy i am, how hard i am at working towards my goals..
I am still pretty much a timid guy. ~ yes it can be explained, everytime i try to speak
up i feel very scared that i make mistakes, fumble, make a nuisance out of myself.
Thats why i try to reframe from speaking most of the times. Because i lacked the
confidence. I am very clear of this major flaw in me, and i believe this will erradicate
itself as times passes. But for now, i am, in my own standards, still a 小男人,
not those that depend on their wife for pocket money(because i don't have a gf) but
those that are not MAN enough..

These flaws becomes more apparent when i live alone. I can barely look after myself
with the level of discipline that i have in my system.

But with every discovery/discovery, comes understanding and affirmation, and with
the affirmation, comes decision, my decision is clear, i want to become a man that can
take care of myself, then can i take up the challenge of REALLY taking care of someone
else, be it my girlfriend, wife, children, old folks, patients, people who are disadvantaged.
And with decision, NEXT i need the commitment and courage to bring about these changes
in myself.
And when i finally reach that objective? what do i do next?
Thats a great question. Because i will need to ask myself that again some other times
when i am a man in my own standards.

Oh, by the way, i have decided to become a doctor. The opportunity is there. I just need to go get it!

FUCKING 加油 FOR EXAMS!

Cheers,
py

posted by py @ 7:35 PM