~the whole world is turning upside down for me~
after i got back to camp on tuesday, alot alot of tough training came..maybe i felt
that it was tough like many of the others because of the tekong trip last week.that
trip was exhausting. this effect could be summed up yesterday night when almost half
the alpha company(my company) fell out and reported sick. one even fainted and
went to the hospital.. i was kinda shock.. cause i myself was having pain in my legs,primarily
my ankles and sole of the feet. ~i still bear e pain and carried on. though next week i am
definitely going to get more knocks.. i can still 'tong'(endure).. think e training was
pretty tough ba.. sir after that asked.. wat e heck happen to u guys.. he said
he planned it tough, but tough in a way that we can take it.. well.. apparently..the
result shows that it is bit too tough, the back to back tough programmes.. hope sir
can give us bit more rest.. hope so ba..
these days, alpha company is slowly shrinking, people are injured, getting long term injuries,
and pending to be posted out of commando's.. sometimes i wonder, when will my
turn come.. i have came so so far.. but hope things will fall in place.. and i will get my red
beret. hope people that fall out from now.. things will be brighter for them, cause i know
they really miss us, same too people.. people in the unit also is sad to see u gO! jia you
in life eh! don't give up! eh! =D
there are things in this world that is really unpredictable.. human's life is really fragile..
a very super good friend of mine in commando de mama.. she is really ill.. and don't have much time to live... my first reaction after i heard sir said he is posting out to stagmont camp, was more
of jealous than sympathy.. the camp so near to his house.. i even asked him how he got posted
out, teach me! man.. i suck. after i know the truth, i went smack quiet.. i tried to console him,
but i find that i am not good with that.. i suck.. i really suck.. i only make things worse.. all e
time.. all the freaking time.. haix.. i even got myself shunned completely by jasmine.. previously
by amanda, heidi, haha.. now by jas..
now, at this moment, i am in a real mess.. up there. i really dunno what i am doing.. thinking..
in camp sometimes, msg jas, nv receive reply, or she replied commenting i am too noisy or
negative remarks.. i feel really helpless.
i am on my own eh.. haix.. thats my life.
i have been taking up things and putting things on my shoulder the things all my life.
now my shoulders are slowly giving way. think i can still hang on.....
hope jas is doing well in the exams. although ihave been noisy. sorry. i am really sorry.
not long ago today.. i heard that my gan deair(god father) is diagnosed with cancer.
man.. wat the fuck is happening to me!
there are alot of things that i have to do. i still got my A levels. and i am not exactly working
smart. man.. i got to find a way out myself. haha.. all with my own one sided thinking..
think i will bound to meet into alot of obstacle. two brain is still better than one in
analysing and enduring all these shit.. hahaha.. i always forgot.. jas said she will not see me
again.. haha.. forget it. i give up. happy?
peng yong
14:09
posted by py @ 1:36 PM
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