one memorable week...
super fast heart beat followed by even faster pantings and and worse pain one will never want to
feel, followed by the slower but emotional handshake with chief cdo officer, and the shaky legs inthe parade.. it was sure was a great week.. starting from monday to wednesday, we were carrying
that dreaded boat.. freaking shit.. tired., but that was part of our training too.. and building up
to our super big day. i will never forget tt..then came wed morning, after the "are you worth it?" , " it will be agonizing.. painful ..but always ask yourself the qns. are you worth it?!" said the co.. haha..
well wat he said did hit me frequently during the walk. its fucking shag. and we were juz merely trying
our best to keep walking with our load and weapons..(MG SUCKS BIG TIME! CARRIED FOUR KM....)walk started from wed morning 9 to the next day's(thurday) morning eleven..during the walk.. hit a storm.. that grounded us for 1 hour plus.. then co step in to give us ice cream morale booster and stuff.. haha.,.having 'hong cha long gan' in east coast! (a specialty of changi point and tens of years of commamdo patronage) .. having abrasion on the both side of my thighs and blisters at the foot of the
leg.. the moment when we hit 36km mark ( broke record of dot, which we marched 35km) and also the many morale booster along the walk.. the sound of soldiers moaning.. sound of soldiers heart.. and the tears i shed after hearing a song as we pass by the east coast park the 2nd time around.. i think the lyrics goes like " believe in yourself, i know u are painful, your soul is hurting.. but do not give up." haha.. heard that and my eyes went blurry with tears.. the others too felt this way, including YY tan.. who also had fever.. 2 ic also kena fever.. me today.. and i tink many many more. for that i hope god bless them and wished them speedy recovery. there were much much more defining moment in that march itself..but i can only think of these.. cause my head is not in the best state now.. fever.. so tired.. so so tired..
then our big day yesterday 23rd november 2006. nobody including me, in the entire road of life, will ever forget this day.we carried the boat in with our legs and back aching like fuck, and then charging towards the audience, and then lpresented red beret by cheif cdo officer. dawing on the red beret & stileto.. which we worked 11 months and more for..haha.. i was so freaking happy.. but i could not show it.. though i tried.. i was feeling too hot and sick.. haha.. many too..then later.. took photos with mama and ah ma who was present. and then later limber out all the way to the main road with ah ma and mama to take cab home.. on the way, the uncle talked so much about how gd a commando was, i felt proud. and in the nite, popping two panadols and went to sleep.. knock out..
now.. the heart beat had went down.. alot alot.. haha.. and i can think better. chief said, now, we are the real commando, and we this is the start of the journey of upholding the spirit and pride of commandos. sure i will..
oh ya, i miss out a person to thank.. 2lLT Wynn, sir. at the last rest point at changi point of the 72km route march, he asked permission from Captain Eugene to let me march back alone with his supervision.. yea.. and we did, marched all the way back to camp, in the process talking alot alot.. as i enter the camp gate with my jungle hat, i shouted "FOr Honour And Glory!!!Commando!!!!!" hahahaha.. i still rem i was so freaking happy.. and i was clenching my fist and shooting it up into the sky while onlookers, including officer and specialist looked upon, "First soldier to turn operational!" sir exclaimed.. haha.. i was so freaking happy..
then later, went uip to bathe, moaning due to the abrasions and blisters in contact with water, and then later went down to meet sir, i called weida and dad in the bunk to tell them i had completed the 72km route march. on the way down, see all my buddies who juz completed the 72km and coming up the stairs, almost all wished me best luck, i was so motivated to do well.. on the way there, sir was driving.. and i really hard core la.. read and read and read the format.. and yes.. almost nealy always going to fall asleep.. then reach the exam school.. sat down and relaxed bit, then drank the morale booster pack of milo from sir. went for exam, it was totally chicken feat.. haha.. i can do it! haha.. after that really ma fan sir to pick up my grandma and mama .. and then went to camp.. super paiseh la.. ha..sorry sir! thank you sir! linked up with the others, quickly changed into my number 4, bought mee for sir, but he dun want, so i shared it with the bunk.. gave one pack to poh soon. then later went for briefing by csm and oc.. haha.. fever was catching with me then, i was feeling giddy, prayed to god to helped me through this stretch and he did! i did not faint, though in the mist of the parade, my hand shivered as i get the red beret, and i was shivering (my legs) as i was listening to chief as i was standing there.. ha.. so happy..
For Honour And Glory
Commando!
peng yong
72km...next week.
Today is sunday, another dreaded sunday that i need to book in.. to where.. camp..
well.. thats life.. but at least i can wave the temptations of life goodbye.. it is crazy
to say this, but i actually is more efficent in camp. i can finish more work in camp, can
study abit more in camp, can do things really quicker.. thanks to all the orders from my
beloved sirs and yea.. the environment la.. ha.. there are not much entertainment, though
recently they craved out a recreational room for us.. okay.. lets see how much it helps la
haha.. this christmas we will be staying back in camp for 2ntm. darn suay la.. but haha..
well.. we are paid to protect the country, and i am juz 'doing my job' . . . juz hope it is
enjoyable. i have been on a long and tedious soul searching trip for a very long time...
but i feel that is coming to an end. i needed alot of help, alot of talking to, and i will wanna
say a big thank you to those that had really helped me through this period of 'soul searching'
dickson being the unwavering big bro behind me, big sis will be huixian that really helped me
to see things more realistically, and many other friends, that i forgot to mention. well.. thank you!!!
finding this new lease of life wasn't easy. haha.. i feel that my whole world, my life suddenly
stopped and i hear god's instruction to me, make sure u wake up! and know wat u are going
to do in life. and so i did.. i tried to find it.. and yea.. i found lots of answers.. i feel much much
better now. i am more motivated nowadays.
yesterday route marched from bukit panjang(my place) to jurong east. haha.. darn cool.. i feel i
still can do it.. (after one month of no training) and yea.. had dinner there b4 i marched all
the way back to bukit panjang.. of course, all these will not be possible if weida was not
on the bike and acted as a medical coverage officer.. ha.. we had alot of fun.. normal marching
speed.. talk cock.. talk about our future.. talk about girls.. talk about experiences in army, talk
about sports.. fast march.. slow march.. normal speed march.. ha.. started fast and slow by me..
cause i wanted to vary the speed and test my body's actual condition.. and yea.. i still can take it
haha.. tat made weida on the bike sweated a hell lot.. haha.. thanks bro. why am i doing this?
next wednesday, hahahaha.. guess wat, a final inclusion, me! into the company list of soldiers
marching the inaugurable 72Km route march .. haha.. man.. am i excited, at last, i think to myself
at last at last at last! i can march it, and get my red beret! after so much this year, i am going to
get it.. and be a real commando. and frm the positive result i got yesterday, i am condition
for my 72km walk le.. haha.. wish me luck guys.. and thanks weida! haha..
today is sunday,, yea.. going to go back to camp.. and tt will be not long from now.(10pm book in)
exams are almost over le, last paper being next wednesday after the route march. i wanna try
my very best in that last paper. though i know that i am really not doing very well this year.
but at least, try my best for the last paper. yea.. physics design paper.
i might not be able to go to ntu or uQueensland.. or any other super up tier uni i guess.. i know i
freaking let myself down by not able to 'fang xia' jasmine.. and stuff.. and also.. fucking so much
shit happened to me. and i wasted a hell lot of time.. procrastinating and staring into the space and
ask myself why.. why.. why? am i so unfortunate, after that knowing that it is not that i am so
unfortunate.. but am really very fortunate to have gone thru this part of mylife with jasmine,
and the joy u had brought me.. and to really juz, appreciate whatever i have now. i know i have
seriously msged a hell lot to alot of people..almost every night.. alot of girls i have msged( and i
mean really a hell lot..) i know i am irritating.. but i was juz trying my best to fang xia jasmine..
by talking to the girls.. and talking to the guys too la.. ha.. but more to girls.. i know this method
did not really worked out well.. jasmine(my classmate) got pretty pissed cause i am really
msging her too much, sokharn completely shunned me..so did cailing(my ex) heidi(my ex) yea..
i am sorry. but will like to say thank you too. at least i am feeling better now. hope u guys..and gals
will be feeling better now. that i am not msging so much.. ha..
now.. i juz want to chase all my dreams that i deem possible and am willing to chase with all my
heart and passion that is left. ha.. i will make it. now, i juz wanna concentrate on a levels, getting red beret, doing well for atec, so as to repay my unit de care and concern for letting me study for a's again.. and get my tkd coaching pass, and also to get back to sir soon, and also do volunteer work with all my heart(not girls) again.. also to learn as many things as possible. there are so many things i wanna learn.. and yep.. to plan all my adventure concerns.. all the backpacking trip.. and stuff.. haha. will wanna work hard to get to these places. and yea.. the get to a uni.. whether it is
sim.. mdis.. nie.. i wanna make up my mind and do well in it.
that will be more like me.
and not the me that needed a girl to be behind me so that i can dump all my emotional feelings with.
that is me. the me now. with no girls ba.
ha.. think tt will be better.
and yea.. thats all..
god bless everyone i know.. amen.
peng yong
finding it hard ta study, concentrate in studying.
isn't it weird, u wanna get something but.. feel that all is impossible, and even
when u psyche urself up le.. this new found energy dun always last. hais..
i wanna jia you lo.. cause .. i dun really have a direct link, motivation to it.
think i am going to do badly this year.. haix..
nah nvm, dun think so negatively, lets try to jia you. and
get A for my maths. on tuesday and thursday. iwanna do tt.
real bad.
real
real bad.
cause after tt, will be my tkd, my bball, my future education in ntu waiting for me.
i love ya.. all the girls i have loved b4, but i wanna move on, and do the things i want myself.
sorry jas. i hurt u badly, sorry amanda, hurt ya badly too.. sorry heidi, hurt ya too..cailing too..
i suck la huh
but i really wanna move on le. u girls always complain that i nv move on.. i will.
trust me. next year, i will be enrolled into ntu. trust me one last time.
i will wanna juz dig deep, into myself, after all these experiences to really juz
conc on my math now.
miss me. miss ya. miss the past. but i wanna do my work now.
take care, and good bye to all the gals in my life. wanna move on.
cheers,
peng yong
