a place within.
there are times in my life, where i feel that i am trying to force the issue.
there are other times in my life, where others are trying to force the issue
on me. i feel that there are times in life, where these kinda pressing issues
that one has to make a decision nomatter what. this is part and parcel of
life. a kind of route that everyone has to experience.
i personally do not know what i want in having a girlfriend. many a time..
it is just a want, a need. because everyone is having one, and because i
wanna satisfy the sexual intent of my plagued heart. i know i am sinned,
and i brought them upon myself.
i am a buaya and that is something i found out bout myself after i lost my
last relationship. i started to try and find girls. my eyes are logged on to
whatever pretty girls there are in my sight. i am kinda like a pervert.ha
maybe i am la. to me. this pervertic self is a mask that i wanna potray to
people in this world. because i can't face up to the world after this last
break up. i have lost all my bet. lost all my dignty,lost all my smiles and
i am ready to die.
a fact is a fact. and a past is a past. things that cannot be changed.
got to 'move on' like they say.
move on is a word that signifies the bottom most energy of mine. an energy
that cannot be taken out, neither can it be manupilated.
to me. its an energy that i hate to take out. this energy is made up genetically
by the substance called 'excuse'.. and i hate excues.
in life. sometimes...'move on' has to be used. and i am only slowly grasping the
real meaning behind this phrase.
oh well.. give me a break god.
i wanna juz live life thinking less of this things. maybe when i commit less sin ba.
haha..
gg overseas le. wish me luck.
wanna do well.
wanna give my all.
applied for rsaf pilot le.
tc.
peng yong
15/04/07
23:47
this week really not enough sleep..
haha.. yea.. its things after things..
but i enjoyed my week..
went to ubin to celebrate bday and have fun cycling..
had chief parade..
went out with sandra...
went to shao mu.. haha..
really a fun week.. haha
gg overseas for training soon le.
hope it will be a fruitful one..
wanna enjoy the trip there..
at last can take plane again le!
haha.. so happy..
i juz love travelling la..
no doubt about that.. haha..
next time wanna travel the world.
at least once! haha..
and for that to happen.. got to
study hard,be able to talk fluently(eng/chi)
,be able to be more street smart(bargain)
,got to love cultures,have a good
camera, have a good travel diary,
have a good grasp of written ang moh and
chi, keep fit, and muz muz learn
to read map. ha.. hope my job
next time will let me go overseas multiple
times.. haha..
yea.. thats about it.
wish me luck in getting the nie place. haha
though its hard la, with my score. haha..
eh.. wanna go rest le.
peng yong
2320
hoo-ah
I juz reach home after a long day of wait.. really is wait la.. darn sian
haha.. stay in camp to clean up the room.. the toilet.. packing bag for
overseas trip.. haha.. cannot book out earlier.. but its ok.ha..at
least i am at home now
ha..
my 21st birthday was erm... haha.. wat the hell.. a real PINCH of a bday..
haha.. was kinda tortured.. haha.. went to ubin for cycling trip.. to
enjoy myself, with the whole battalion.. haha.. it was fun la.. ha..
when the treasure hunting was all over.. i was stripped to my underwear
lifted on all limbs.. and banged on a pillar 21 times by my detachment
while all the other guys in the company was watching.. was also covered
in coke and sand.. haha.. and suffered the TK treatment.. he pinched my
nipple till its 6 o'clock... and yea.. it was hell painful..haha..
after that, i was threw into the sea to drink some water.. haha..
took some nuditic shots.. haha.. thats it. haha..
it was an enjoyable birthday. i will never forgot it =D thanks guys.
oh ya.. i am having a break from today to 11th april.. haha..
i am 21 le.. hope my bday wish come true.. haha..
and i will work diligently towards whatever i wanna do, and will try ta
learn from ppl that i think i can emulate and improve on myself.
think i need alot of transforming to do. i cannot stay in the way where
i was.. haha.. i will suffer, so will all my family.. =)
jia you peng yong
peng yong
2015
