Maybe God put a few bad people in your life,
so when the right one came along you'd be thankful.
~ Andrea Kiefer ~
Oh MAN..
I am screwed.. Anticlockwise.. Clockwise.. nomatter which direction..
I am screwed..
Why oh why, did i get myself into this situation? I just followed my heart.
There YOU GO! someone said..
Arghs..
Alrights, it's suppose to be a blessing! So i am not suppose to swear on this.
but she's overseas! i mean. Over seas. Literally, practically. And all the
effects can be felt from the most impt departments-heart, brain, face,soul.
I just wanna see her like right now.
But again. It's a crush. i mean, i know i fall into love/liking someone just
with a *snap* of my middle and index finger. It's just me. I love people,
like everyone, and when people are equally great/loving back to me. I
start to feel that we juss.. might get a chance at relationship and eternity tgt.
Haha..
For ppl that know me, or read my post, this is an all too familiar blog post.
For myself, i know it full well how it will affect my life and how i will become of,
whenever i am in this fix.
But this time is different. I wanna put a concerted effort, into making sure
i know her, as friends, really trying to know her, but not all romance in my
filthy mind! I will know her better. I will make sure that there is a mutual
feeling towards each other, before i, try to do anything 'drastic'.
This time is different. I've a friend tt is overseas. So yea.. it's really about
being there for her, emotionally as a friend. and listen to her. (which i feel
i am pretty good at) And to not use words such as "miss you" "like you"
"think of me" ~ Any words that is related to romance! I just wanna keep
it the way before she left. A really pure and strong friendship, with a lot
of potential.
May god bless us.
i've gotta work hard for that blessing.. trio in my studies, work,
and the special friendship i have with her.
Give, don't ask for return. Pray, don't ask for fulfilment. Control, don't let your soul wander. Breathe..& Smile, because life's worth living!Cheers,
py
Yesterday was a wonderful day.
I went to XinLong's new place, and it was indeed a really nice place!
We had good food at his place too =D He's one of the best person i ever
met =)
Played Dai di and 1 game of black jack. haa Watched transformers and
relaxed, listen to zhong ren talk about her ROMEO trip to vietnam.
It was a gathering, and in every sense, a warm one =)
After that, i left for town.
Meeting Jia Yun for dinner before she leaves for Australia. I was quite excited
and nervous initially.
Because we only chat alot via sms/msn but none on the phone etc.
So yea.. i don't know if i will live up to her expectations. I guess i did pretty ok.
I guess the ice breaker was when she went to times, i feel v comfortable when
i am around books. And especially ihave a chance to explain what i know, i guess
that helped.
We shopped at Diaso, and chose some Japanese Potteries for her Australian
friends. It was pretty nice. To just, listen to her talk, because she is a cheerful
and eloquent speaker. haa.. i really enjoyed listening, i swear =)
After everything, i walked her home to her place at potong pasir.
It was quite a long time since i did that. So i did initially felt was it something
planned by god? or was it something that god had planned to test my resolve,
or am i just thinking too much?
feelings are pretty mixed, but i feel that we're friends tt can talk. i guess she
can take my crap, and i can take her's. so yea =)
let's keep it that way for now.
She's leaving for australia this Thursday, and the song that kept sounding in
my ears: Corrine May ~ Fly Away.
Cheers,
py
Today's Sat!! Met Javin and the other guys in school!
Love school! =D
YL, ZR, NELSON came to my house to bai nian right after class =)
Was a wonderful day, other than that i did nothing much than just
looking at bicycles(touring bikes)! hahaha.. kinda wasted my day!
Needa start studying, don't care, i am not sleeping early tonight!
Here's my wish list, things i want to buy for the year!
1) Casio
PRG-130GC-3 ($360)
2) Montague Paratrooper Bicycle ($1500)
Other things if i win 4d!
1) HD Video Camera(Bout $2000)
2) Service Van(Bout $12000)
3) Road Bike(Bout $1500)
4) Classier working adult watch (those with the chain)(Bout $1500)
=D
All these are equipments for my up coming Europe Graduation Trip 2011!!
(Budgeted for $5000 2 months)
Cheers,
py
Oh great..
It's Chinese New Year's Eve. A Sunny and windy day, befitting a grand occasion like today. i believe that there are many ways for people to celebrate this day. Especially when this year's valentine's day coincides (as in same date) with CNY. I've briefly surveyed many of my friends and the respone, well.. is widely distributed. Some just want to celebrate it with their family, as in just celebrating cny, a small faction of them will want to squeeze out the night for valentine's celebration, some more sensibly will celebrate valentine's day today/some other day after valentine's day, some just aren't interested to celebrate that day for many a reasons.
For me, I haven't celebrated valentine's day in my life before. It was kinda like an irony for me, because i had the blessing to have been in relationship with 8 separate girls. It was wonderful, celebrated their bdays, my bdays, x'mas, together, but never got a chance to spend that wonderful valentine's day with anyone of them. I either broke up with them before or after the v-day or we missed that day because both parties just do not have the time. It's a shame really, because this day = national day for the expression of love to each other. And to me, it is rather elusive, exclusive and yes, by far, empty.
Maybe the one that will celebrate v-day with me, will turn out to be 'the one' , or as sze yuan put's it, ' the right right one'. Blessings are aplently in my life. I feel happy and honoured. But maybe just show me 'the right right one', i've transfer my blessings to her and my future kids.
God bless us, God bless the people around me, God bless the world. (I'm by no means a baptised christian, i'm more a buddist&christian.)
Love eludes me, and has a way of getting back at you. Haha. I can't stop laughing at my self.
Yesterday was supposed to be a meet up of old friends, as in JC classmates from 03S07 (my jc class number). As it turns out, many of them cannot make it, but at least the people that i thought would come, did came. Noah (gg back to NZ on the 26thfeb), Simon (Having exams in 3 weeks time, stressed out), Kum Fai (great philosopher as always), and yes, suprise suprise suprise.. Jasmine (back in singapore, working, starting out as an audit assistant).
I will touch base on jasmine bit more in this post, because the 3 guys, we know each other quite well.. they're great guys! And Ah kum, Remember to buy me jerseys!! haa.. i want! Noah, hope that u will enjoy the cny, although u seem rather sian bout things.. simon, wat more to say, u're the man!! Being late because u went to get the specs, and ran ALLLLL the way to get the bus.. haha.. everything i can expect of you.
Jasmine, what the fuck! yea... that was my first reaction when i got the news that she was coming. with all my auto-pilot mood and sleepy eyes, those hp numbers, they seem so familiar. (I usually just scan through sms when i am tired, to find the main point) i was to call and sms her about our whereabouts because ah kum and me had arrived. Which is wat i did, i smsed and called, no response. I saw her right after i saw noah. Which is coincident. But i am tired to probed into whatever shit tt happens to her. I just am.
And yes, for the whole gathering, i had nothing much to talk to her about. school, work, etc. All she does is just nod head after i say sth. It sucks. It is not like we didn't talk through the night before. So yea.. i guess it is how it is now.
But but but, i believe that everyone holds the same experience as i do.
As in, i will still 'care-for' the ex-gf that i have. That's natural to me. Because they meant so much to me. Which is why i was so happy, and yet distraught in a certain degree, that she is back in singapore, well and safe, probably carried back afew more pounds (if you know wat i mean..). She looks great, have a new job, starting out in her career. I am glad and happy for her.
for me.
Because after i lost contact with this person about 3 years ago(i cannot remember things more than 1 day, what makes u so sure i can rem sth 3 yrs ago), but yes, i remember that night, i received that shitty email which i still kept to remind me of that period's experience, to just have 1 tiny wish: That she is safe and sound in australia, to have a good life, to be happy, and i just want to know she is alive.
Yesterday, 12/02/2010, 730pm, city hall mrt, that was the place i saw her. And it answered all my prayers.
Thank you.
Today, 13/02/2010, i will like to set another tiny wish, since the last one is up, i just hope she get on with her current life, and wish her success in her career. She deserves it. God bless you Jasmine.
For me, I am entering the year of the Tiger in less than 12 hours time. It's, i believe a time to reprieve, reflect, redirect my life. I haven't thought much about it. But i guess, i just want to acheieve the 8 1/1/10 resolution that i set myself. That will be great enough.
Just gotta keep going at it.
Cheers,
py
On the way home.. After a failed attempt at buying some clothes for day to day use. Haa.. I believe I am still very much affected by the opinions of friends. I believe these to be way more affective than my own judgements. Through this trip, I can visualize how it is that I make my decisions. if I am to judge myself pre-trip, I believed myself to be able to find something I like, buy it and move on, I did not believe I have a fantastic fashion sense, but it is capable of me getting a reasonably designed clothing. An analysis post trip got me thinking though, about what is it that makes me make the
final decision. *breathing in and out now..* I felt that, I was swayed by the point of view of a friend eventhough I deem it good enough to buy that piece of clothing. Next, I am in a constant stress of making a decision based on the price of the item. Ie. There was a shirt that costs 50bucks, but with a reference that I got from another shop selling the goods for 20 bucks a thing of about the same value/design. That made me think really hard onto the monetary advantage/ value it provides. Making a decison thus becomes near impossible. Nine times out of ten I will most probably emd up not buying. I end up decidIng to defer purchasing in this trip. Other ideas that added to my streams of thoughts includes; javin telling me to buy something that fits me will only make me look better;yl telling me to take my time, to not rush my purchase as to him, choosing a piece I like is paramount to my purchase decision because a shirt will last me v
long, it is suprising that I am in so much thought process while shopping. As tough as it may be, I've decided on several solutions. 1) To increase my cny purchasing budget to 100bucks instead of 60bucks initially 2) To get a haircut. Haa end up I don't have a good solution..
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